The Lewis Show

From the home office in Lenexa, Kansas, tonight's top 10 list: 10 Things Men Know About Women 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. They have boobs.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey...

Since I have basically been only recapping my weekends I thought I would do that to an extent, but also share my plans for this summer and fall. Fear not, it will not be too intimate or invasive. I took Janine out last night to celebrate her promotion to lab manager. She's going to be working in the Ashland store, which is a bit of a commute, but I'm positive she's going to do a fantastic job. Congrats, baby! We went to see X3 last night which she enjoyed. It made more sense to me to watch it a second time around also. We had dinner at Denny's of all places too. I just had a big time hankering for pancakes and eggs and bacon and sausage and you get the point. Labor Day weekend, bitches! The Lewis Show radio network will return with a weekend long live broadcast. For now I'm just going to return to my old Lynchburg Underground format of playing on the weekends with the plan to have 2 hours worth of live broadcasting. I will then take those 2 hours and put them into a...

Insomnia is taking the best of me. I'm quite accustomed to having Janine in my arms as I drift off to meet the Sandman, but tonight, I'm at home so that she can focus on her schoolwork. Tomorrow she has a study session too with classmates, so I will be home again. Topaz misses me though and she is in need of a lot of attention. Saturday evening, Janine and I went to visit Tracy and meet some of her friends at her house. She has a really nice place and 3 adorable and entertaining dogs. Two of which are Bassett Hounds and are very fat and happy indeed. We then packed up the PT Cruiser and headed to Wonderland to see Rev. D Ray and The Shockers and Gojira-X. Both bands were amazing as always. It's a very infectuous sound and I can't wait for them to play around here again, and again, and again. We got out of there pretty late and went back home to crash. I think I'm still suffering from some sort of jet lag because my sleep schedule is all over the place. Sunday I spen...

I had such a good time in Nebraska. Lincoln is a very nice, small town. It's definately a college town too. Even though most of the college kids are gone for the summer, the place was still packed with eager to party college kids. I got to the airport super early because Janine had to work that evening. I hung out at the airport for a couple hours, picked up a copy of The Broker by James Grisham (very good book, pick it up) and a magazine. I got some coffee and got everything organized as far as all my mail and everything that I had packed. I went to security about an hour before flight to get checked in. I had to take my shoes and belt off and I was randomly selected to get searched. After a refreshing frisking, I got dressed and headed to my terminal. We took off on schedule and I went to my first connection. After getting lost in that terminal, I found my way to my next flight which was also on time. I forgot how much fun it is to fly, but I'm reminded of what a pain in the ...

Ok, I'm no CornHusker fan, but I will be spending the rest of the week in Lincoln, Nebraska. I'm going to a conference through work, and I'm excited to be flying again. I'm looking forward to meeting some people and having a good time. So look up in the sky and wave at me as I fly over. Yehaw!