The Lewis Show

It's funny you ask, Nicole. Nice sex tape by the way. When I last mentioned football here, I was wrong on both predictions. So I am predicting that on Super Bowl Sunday, the Steelers are going to win 20-17. I honestly don't give a rat's ass anyway, because my team had a horrible year. The Packers better pick up some receivers this offseason or next year will be even worse!

Kelly's blog template is finished. It looks a lot like mine because, well, I used my template. I'm sure now over time he will put in his own touches. Check it out though, let him know what you think!

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded. Chuck Norris does not have your normal human-style, male nipples. He has a Dodge Ram hood ornament on each pec, and both rams blow smoke out of their noses each and every time he pumps Christy Brinkley. Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day. The roundhouse kick has been proven to be more deady than kryptonite. The Death of Superman? Yeah, that was from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris, when clean-shaven, radiates the heat of three suns. Chuck Norris is the only one ever in history to stare Medusa straight in the eyes and not be turned to stone. The result was Roseanne Bar. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the poo out of little kids. The quickest way to a man's h...

CNN.com - Remembering Challenger - Jan 27, 2006 I just cannot believe that it's been 20 years since the Challenger tragedy. I remember it very well. That day I was out of school sick. I woke up feeling really strange. I remember for some reason the entire country watching this take off. If I remember right there wasn't that much press about a shuttle lift off since they started the program in 1980. Then I remember it exploding and at that second I remember thinking at that second "Why did I have a feeling that was going to happen?" I hope one day things like this will make sense. Even 20 years and a lot of growth later, some things just still won't register.

Shawn's coming to visit for the second time since we moved up and he's bringing along my sword wielding partner in crime. Yay! There aren't many plans outside of Jessi wanting to hit the Red Lobster and going to catch Underworld. We may if we are lucky get to visit Kelly and Jeff over in the ghet...I mean the fan. So I'm going to have a fun filled weekend. I look forward to the insanity.

Your Superhero Profile Your Superhero Name is The Moon Freak Your Superpower is Radiation Your Weakness is Booty Your Weapon is Your Solar Bludgeon Your Mode of Transportation is Catapult What's your Superhero Name?

This is a friendly reminder to those who would seek to damage my friends in any way. Fear the bunny man.

It's been a while since I let the mind of Mike flow all over my blog, so let's do it! I've spent most of the morning tweaking the blog, adding links, playing with the html code. What do you think? I think it looks pretty darn spiffy. As always if something just looks completely out of place, just add a comment. Work is going well. I enjoy the place so much better than my last job. Now we are in the middle of construction and by next week I should have my own desk! And computer! And printer! Yay! Kat is nose deep in school right now. She's going to have to take classes in the summer to complete her foundation of art so she can declare her major. 2006 is going to be a very busy year for her. She also is out looking for work since Sephora only needed her during the holidays. Speaking of Kat, her birthday is coming up on the 7th. And she thinks 24 is old! pfft. I just do not have a life right now! Today I'm going to be catching the football games. I have a feeling they...

Until Jessi finds time to start producing album reviews for me, I give you this really cool online review generator (click the title). This month, my music hating friend reviews Trivium - Ascendancy. Enjoy.

Yeah, I hope this tour hits closer to home than Baltimore. You know I'll be there. I wonder who else would tag along?

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time". If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris...

You Are Pumpkin Pie You're the perfect combo of uniqueness and quality Those who like you are looking for something (someone!) special What Kind of Pie Are You?

Here's wishing a good friend a great birthday and a great year. At 31 though, I would suggest some medication for that arthritis. Now get out there and make some money you asshat so you can buy a drumkit and we can change the face of metal forever.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell! Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Low Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low Level 2 (Lustful) Extreme Level 3 (Gluttonous) High Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Extreme Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very Low Level 7 (Violent) Very High Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Extreme Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) High Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

2005 was a roller coaster year of extremes. I have to admit it was one of the worst years I’ve ever lived through, but it was also one of the best. I’m going to reflect over the past 12 months with the help of my blog here and try to put everything into perspective. January started out with a bang! We partied at the in-laws house, got very drunk and did lots of crazy things. I just remember not remembering a lot of it, because I was so wasted. The year started right away with a long talk from the wife about her future. She was slowly dieing at work and wanted to make some changes. She was looking around at schools and noticed that VCU has an amazing arts/fashion design program. I also being sick of Lynchburg, encouraged her to check that out. That would be the first step on a very long and painful journey that has us where we are today. The year also started out with a thud when I came down with I think one of the worst colds I have ever had in my life. The entire week I lay out withou...

I know my birtday isn't for another 2 months, but I'm making a public announcement for the one gift that I want. I just hope everyone gets together and makes my biggest wish come true. I have to have the nano. I have 2000 mp3's and it just sucks to see everyone with an iPod but me. I love music more than anyone combined and I just, I have to have it! Lest I go insane with jealousy!

Happy New Year! Time for another recap of the last weekend. It's all a blur now and it should be brief. We headed to Lynchburg Saturday around 3 for the festivities. A smaller group than I hoped got together to enjoy the feast of chilli, meatballs and lil' smokies. We were at Doodie and Sandra's. Megan, Jessi, Kat, Heather and myself were all that was there. It was so sad seeing Dick Clark in his condition after his stroke. I cried remember how I used to watch AB growing up with my mom. She was on that show once..back in the late 50's which also prompted me to think of my ailling mother. We left the party around 1AM per the hosts request. Everyone seemed to be on edge so I went back to Jessi's to chill. An hour later my drunk wife calls and wants to go back to Richmond. We made it to the Big Horn before we got turned around and went back home. We then stayed through Monday night..basically just chilling with friends and enjoying their company. Things were pretty muc...