Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Blahs

Being born under the sign of Pisces it's easy to read about how someone like me can become utterly depressed over the simplest of things. At my age, I've outgrown dwelling on having those down days, but every once in a while that day will still creep up on me. Today was one of those days.

I woke up around 10, pretty normal day. It was cloudy and cool, which was refreshing. It was raining out so I figured there were no plans for the morning. I went with Shawn to pick up my car and drag it to the Cattle Annie's parking lot.

The bearing is out on the left rear tire and the brakes are gone in the back. Being an inspection month, I'm going to have to cough up some serious loot to be able to cover for that. The other bills are in great need of payment too, so it's going to be a rough pay period.

So basically I spent the evening at home, hanging out with friends. But during the course of that, and the headache I was fighting all day, I started to have those familiar feelings of sadness. The best part of age is that I know the causes, and I know that it passes. The blahs are something that is a part of everyday life. Everyone has their own system for dealing with them be it medical or traditional. The important thing for me is to remember who I am, remember my friends, my love, and remember the good things that I do have.

I'm also convinced that men have cycles, we just don't bleed.

I remember the feelings of insecurity that would come with the blahs. Those feelings of unimportance, or feeling left out. It's easy to punish other people for those feelings. I have to remember there are highs and lows and when the lows come, storm it out. It's never the answer I wanted to hear, but bucking up and being a man is the best cure there is for my blahs.

I hope everyone can stay happy, but when those low days come, just know that I'm tickled that I'm not the only one.