Thursday, December 27, 2007

Dear Random Person

I'm going to start a new feature to my blog, I'm sure it's not original, and it's probably pretty rude, but the release will keep me from backhanding people, so I see this as an exercise in restraint.

Dear Visitor Lady from Central America,

I've never been one of those radical, old fashioned, wrapped in the flag uber conservative types that get on their soapboxes and yell out, "Learn English if you want to live here!", but I felt like that man today. I'm very glad your four year old son was there to translate for you with the cashier at the drug store by the way. Kudos to him, but I digress.

I guess I have a question for you, oh lady who's face I never saw, and that question is why would you buy two things of nail polish, a big tube of fancy lotion, foundation, a soda, and two pack of Menthols, and not understand the total was going to exceed that ten dollar bill that you had? I knew that it would, your husband knew that it would and even offered to pay the rest. Kudos to him too, he at least could understand numbers, but I digress.

Why would you then try in your native language to a woman behind the counter that speaks perfectly good English and nothing else which items you want to keep and what items you want voided? For that one second I was that old man thinking, "Learn the damn language, lady".

You can point at things and grunt, or whistle, but as long as you drive well, pay taxes, and not hold up the line, I don't really give a crap that you can't speak the local language, but if you are going to hold up my line because you cannot habla, I suggest taking an hour a day and practice English with your learned son and husband.


Sincerely,

The old conservative jerk on a soapbox wrapped in the American flag yelling learn to speak English who is not a mean person, just impatient