Who Am I?

-
I ask myself this question from time to time. Obviously far less than most people, but I always thought if I did too many inner inspections, I would develop some kind of crisis of identify. I know I'm simple, I was raised simple, what I demand in life are no where near complex.

Who am I now then? I'm engaged, I'm a boyfriend,  I'm a son, I'm a brother, I'm an uncle, I'm a case manager, I'm apparently easily approachable to some but utterly avoidable to others, I'm nice. I'm also uneducated...

Schooling never was my forte. Testing is the bane of my existence. For me learning something takes time, failure, repetition, and mastering. I cannot let this fear of failure though continue to dominate my decisions. I am doing back to school. Janine who is my guiding light has consistently insisted that I look into going back into school to better myself.

Yesterday, I heard her.

Don't expect me to become ivy school educated, I doubt I'll do anything outside of community college, but my goal is to focus on the wheelhouse of my knowledge which is obviously, computing, tech, and teaching. I know I can do this, in fact, with any effort, it should have been done years ago. But I'm not going to beat myself up over what I failed to do, I'm going to push forward, and with some time, luck, patience, and a lot of hard work, I can make this happen. I hear it's not too late constantly.

Yesterday I really heard it.

Why am I posting this inner monologue? For encouragement. Don't let this horse stop, if he needs a push, by all means, push, dangle carrots, coax.

Popular posts from this blog

Last Night

-
Image
I had a ball last night! Janine picked me up from work and we headed to Regency to grab some food and pick up James , who come to find out is a huge Sevendust fan and a lot of fun to hang with, more on that later. We headed to the Innsbrook Pavilion which looks really nice as far as outdoor venues go. There was your typical heavy police and security force there, and I don't blame them considering the copious amounts of alchohol that was being consumed by everybody. There was some band playing already out of Boston, but I wasn't impressed. Come to find out later the guy I was headb anging with during Sevendust was their guitarist. Soil came on next and I'm sold. I had doubts about their new lead singer, but he had a lot of energy. By the end of the set he was down in the circle moshing with the kids and hippies who paid for those tickets. As it started to get dark, Sevendust came out and blew me away again! The entire show was good. There's never a dull moment between th...
Read more

For My Friend

-
Image
I moved to Richmond in September, full of aprehension. Many of you by keeping up with my story know full well the ups and downs that I have faced. I was very fortunate to land a great job in October. After a lot of rejection, and fear for losing everything I started my new job with that same fear I had when I moved to this city. I was crammed in an office with Kelly Stern. He is such a kind, patient, gentle soul. He showed me around and I got comfortable working there really fast. I smile when I remember one of my coworkers talking about us giggling in there all day. I had fun those days. It did not take me long to find out that Kelly was gay. He mentioned living with Jeff, and I put two and two together fast. Kelly listened to my troubles, and gave me sound, firm advice. He has been so helpful to me also by taking me home from work almost every day and taking me by the grocery store to get supplies. I would not still be here if it was not for his help. I cannot think of a way to ...
Read more

Under a Spell

-
Image
Here's a rundown of what I've been doing over the past several days: P layed with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, pla yed with my iPo d, played with my iPod, played with my iPod, and played with my iPod. I know, I've been slacking on the blogging, I've slacked on my radio station. I suck. The station is back on the air again, so please tune in, metalheads. I'm obviously updating the blog now, so that takes care of two birds with one big, smooth, stone. New Year's came and went pretty quick. Janine and I hopped in the PT Cruiser and rode to Easton, Maryland to party with her friends. I had such a good time with them. I can see w hy Janine is so close to them. They're all so laid back and fun and genuine people. We all got pretty tipsy...
Read more