Tuesday, October 1, 2013

A Birthday Wish


I have not posted much at all this year. I can make no apologies for that. This is a venue for me to vent about things that are going on in life and the world and my life and my world have been doing just fine this year. For the most part.

I did want to extend a special wish to my Mom this year. She passed away in July. This is the first time I face October 1st without making that call to wish her a special day or ask if Dad played any pranks on her this year. Normally he would do something silly to make sure everyone in the Northern Neck know it was her birthday.

I never took too much of an interest in reading posts from other people who lost parents. I think the whole death thing is something we all have in common. Not many of us predecease our parents and that's how nature works. We all fully expect to bury our parents if we have not already.

Judy was always a mind reader. She knew when something was wrong, she knew when I was happy, and she knew just when to call me to check in. Moms surely have that sixth sense when it comes to us and probably because they faced the same trials that we face now. We don't really understand that until we become parents ourselves. I will certainly miss having this brave woman in my life that sacrificed money, time, and health to accommodate all of my needs.

My birthday wish is probably similar to those in my situation who face a birthday of lost loved one. Do not pass up the opportunity to call, write, or visit them. My Mom was diagnosed with emphysema years ago and we were not surprised at her passing. We watched her slowly fade into the next life. I did not call her nearly enough. We all never call enough. It is very easy to prevent that future regret. One of our last conversations she told me that all she wanted to hear is that I was doing fine. So the last four weeks of her life, I would briefly call and say that I was doing just fine. It made her happy.

I guess my other wish would be for us to take better care of ourselves. My Mom, like most girls in her day, picked up smoking at a very young age. For 40+ years she smoked and it eventually killed her. She knew the consequences but like most people who are addicted to nicotine, it became her friend. That friend killed her and I watched her suffer for years.

She surely did not want me to remember her as someone who fought with every ounce of her being to take her last breaths. I am sure she wants me to remember as the short, fiery, determined yet loving and respectful mother that raised me. I can only try to be as truly good of a person as she was going forward. I know she would appreciate my every effort to be good.

Mom used to sing one particular song to my brother and I every morning as she got us ready for school. For years I had no idea it was an actual song. She used to wake us up singing that she loved us a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck. Her mom sang it to her, and she did the same for us. I think I'll be doing the same one day.

Thank you for that, Momma, and Happy Birthday.