Monday, February 27, 2006

Lowest Point..

I'll just spend a minute going over the event of the past few days...I'm still pretty numb about everything that is going on.

We got back from the In Flames show around 2AM. I popped in a metal video CD for Jessi and Will when I got a sudden phone call. It was a 757 area code, so I figured maybe one of us left something in Norfolk. Wrong. It was a tow truck asking if there was anything I needed to get out of our car before they tow it.

The past few weeks we have been overwhelmed with our bills and between that and spending a small fortune to get Kat's license back, we were unable to keep up with the car payment. Now the car is 2 days away from being auctioned and gone for good. We have to come up with a lot of cash to get it out of impound before then.

To make things even more interesting, we lost the phone on Friday. Our only link to the outside world is wireless internet, and my co workers going out of their way to get me to work every morning.

I can't say there's ever been a lower point in my entire life. Not because of the events, but because I am so helpless to do anything at all. All I can do is keep working and hoping that I can claw our way out of this mess as best as I can.

I don't get on my blog much to bitch about my life, and I don't want anyone's pity. I would like good thoughts, happy vibes, prayers, and crossed fingers that one day, my wife and I can get to a point where we can start again...from square one. I am so crushed and empty inside, that I'm scared, real scared to look inside to see if there's anything left of me. I keep saying things will get better, when they keep getting worse. I feel like I'm cursed. I feel like it's all my fault.

I just hope everyone can forgive me.